I blame Arnold, somehow…
Triviagoers, my world has been rocked to its very core upon hearing a bit of devastating news. Danny DeVito and Rhea Pearlman are getting divorced, after 30 years together.
It’s not that I have any particular affinity for either of them, although they’re both great (DeVito especially), or that I loved them as a couple in some way above and beyond other couples, or anything like that. Mostly, I’m upset that I’m losing my buoy of hope in the ever-stormy sea of celebrity couples. Every time a big split-up would occur, and someone around me would bemoan the ability of any famous pair to stay together in the celebrity world as we now know it, my counter would always be, “Well, at least we’ll always have Danny DeVito and Rhea Pearlman.”
Because, honestly, has there ever been a more perfect pairing in the realm of celebrity? And again, not even talking in the emotional/aww-they’re-adorable sense. What I’m saying is, who else would either of those two ever end up with if not for each other? He looks like the love child of a leprechaun and a greasy plate of Italian sausage, she looks like the member of a human/bird hybrid race chosen from birth to wed said leprechaun/sausage man. The list of things that go better together than these two is exactly four items long:
- Peanut butter and jelly
- Hall and Oates
- Bacon and [insert anything]
- Alex Rodriguez and late-game, crucial-moment strikeouts
That’s it! And to hear that the split is happening due mainly to DeVito’s “womanizing”… Not only has that ensured that I may never again get an erection, but it’s completely cheapened the whole industry of publicist-paired matchmaking for me.