September 18, 2012

Trivia Blog: Talkin' Shit Romney

These Trivia Blog posts come from the emails I send out as Quizmaster of the Gael Pub Trivia Night every Tuesday.  But seeing as how they comprise most of the writing I seem to do these days, I thought it fitting to include them on the Pale Writer blog as well.  I won't include things like info about categories or drink specials, but will keep the bulk of the rest.  Hopefully you enjoy, so much so that you come out some Tuesday at 8:30 (3rd Ave. b/t 82nd and 83rd)...

And for his next trick, the Amazing Romney will fit his OTHER foot inside his mouth…

Despite the fact that he looks exactly like every sleazy politician in every bad 80s action movie ever made, despite the fact that he was practically raised to become president, it just doesn’t seem like Mitt Romney really wants to go down that path.  What started out as a bid to ride a wave of popular disenchantment with the current government to what at that time appeared to be a close election for Mittens has turned into America’s newest game show craze: “What Stupid Shit Will Mitt Do Today??”  From the selection of Paul Ryan as his VP to the carnival of bullshit that was the Republican National Convention to his awful post-US embassy attack remarks all the way through this latest video of him making damaging statements at a private fundraiser (which I’m sure most of you are familiar with at this point), the guys’ been on fire.  I’m sorry, I meant it’s seemed like he’s lit himself on fire.

What you’re NOT familiar with, however, are the OTHER statements that haven’t yet been released.  But I, being a man who gets things, have managed to obtain these hidden videos.  If only as a public service, I feel it’s my duty to share some highlights:
  • “My wife and I were out buying candy for trick or treaters, since Halloween’s coming up, and she keeps reaching for Snickers and Skittles and all this crap.  Candy corn, now there’s a quality candy.”
  • “I really don’t see what people’s problem with the DMV is!”
  • “Say what you will, but there’s no kind of rock and roll like that Nickelback.”
  • “There’s a lot of Puerto Ricans in this neighborhood, huh…?”
  • The Godfather?  Well, I don’t know about that.  As far as Pacino movies go, have you seen this S1m0ne?  Great movie.”
  • “To be honest, I don’t think those replacement NFL refs are doing that bad of a job.  At least they HAVE jobs.  Unless a certain percent that I won’t name… [cough]47[cough]…”
  • “I don’t know about you guys, but puppies?  Can’t stand ‘em.”
  • “No, I’m telling you, it’s not all that bad after she gets that first finger in there.  Hey, is that a camera…?”

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