July 31, 2012

Trivia Blog: Fly the Me-Friendly Skies

These Trivia Blog posts come from the emails I send out as Quizmaster of the Gael Pub Trivia Night every Tuesday.  But seeing as how they comprise most of the writing I seem to do these days, I thought it fitting to include them on the Pale Writer blog as well.  I won't include things like info about categories or drink specials, but will keep the bulk of the rest.  Hopefully you enjoy, so much so that you come out some Tuesday at 8:30 (3rd Ave. b/t 82nd and 83rd)...

Why even have that carry-on bag size thing if you’re not going to use it…

Today’s trivia email will be a shorter one than usual, dear triviagoers, as I just flew in from a long vacation in Denver.  My arms feel fine.  The flight over here got me thinking, the way we lay out rows/seat assignments on planes is horribly flawed.  As always, however, I have the answer.  Going from the front of the plane to the back, here is how airlines should be laying out their planes from here on out:
  • Me
  • The pilots, so nothing’s blocking my view and I can pretend I’m flying
  • Flight attendants, plus a mini bar and decent-sized bathroom that only I can use
  • Bouncy castle area
  • Empty rows, as to provide a sound barrier between me and the rest of the plane
  • Rows reserved for childless people who only want to quietly read until we land
  • Rows reserved for people who will sleep for the whole flight
  • Rows reserved for people who will sleep for the whole flight, but will periodically do that weird twitchy/grunt thing
  • Rows reserved for people who will comment on the items in the Sky Mall catalogue for the whole flight
  • Rows reserved for people who will talk to the person next to them for the whole flight, even if you keep going back to your book during their infrequent pauses
  • Sealed-off area reserved for parents who refuse to do anything about their screaming kids
  • 10 feet of soundproof steel
  • Sealed-off area reserved for aforementioned screaming kids
  • Tail

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