June 19, 2012

Trivia Blog: Hallmark Would Be Proud

These Trivia Blog posts come from the emails I send out as Quizmaster of the Gael Pub Trivia Night every Tuesday.  But seeing as how they comprise most of the writing I seem to do these days, I thought it fitting to include them on the Pale Writer blog as well.  I won't include things like info about categories or drink specials, but will keep the bulk of the rest.  Hopefully you enjoy, so much so that you come out some Tuesday at 8:30 (3rd Ave. b/t 82nd and 83rd)...

As we look back on another Father’s Day come and gone, and you think about the humdrum cards you all might have sent your dad’s way, allow me to offer some assistance for the next time the holiday rolls around.  Here, free of charge, are some words you can incorporate into some homemade cards for next year’s Father’s Day.  Feel free to use macaroni shells and glitter as you see fit…

You’re the best Dad in the world,
you tell me you’ll be there ’til the end.
Even though I wrecked your ’67 Mustang
and drunkenly groped your new girlfriend.

D is for Dad, because you’re my Dad.
A is for Awesome, because you are Awesome.
D is also for Dad, because you sent me to public schools and I’m not very creative.

Roses are red,
Rain clouds are grey.
I’m sorry, but your jokes are stupid,
and also, I’m gay.
Just thought I’d kill two birds here…

I drew you this picture…

because I want you to know that I know how empty our home life really is.  Way to go, Dad.  (Also, I’m 37 and I’ve drawn like this my whole life.  Shouldn’t you have noticed that I’m not developing properly?)

I know I was never the star quarterback,
and I couldn’t hit a curveball to save my life.
But I’m pretty sure I made you proud
when I made that hot stripper my wife.

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