December 27, 2011

Trivia Blog: Cat-astrophic Homecoming

These Trivia Blog posts come from the emails I send out as Quizmaster of the Gael Pub Trivia Night every Tuesday.  But seeing as how they comprise most of the writing I seem to do these days, I thought it fitting to include them on the Pale Writer blog as well.  I won't include things like info about categories or drink specials, but will keep the bulk of the rest.  Hopefully you enjoy, so much so that you come out some Tuesday at 8:30 (3rd Ave. b/t 82nd and 83rd)...

A brief reenactment of my encounter with our cat last night after I arrived home from a four-day trip away for the holidays:

Me:  [Walks through front door]
Cat:  FOOD GUY!
Me:  Hey buddy.
Cat:  HI!!!
Me:  Whoa, calm down big guy.
Cat:  I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE HOME!
Me:  Did you miss me or something?
Cat:  I ATE ALL THE FOOD YOU LEFT OUT FOR ME AFTER ONE DAY!!
Me:  What's the matter? Hungry?
Cat:  I HAVE NO PROPER CONCEPT OF TIME, SO I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG YOU WERE GONE, NOR HOW TO RATION OUT FOOD OVER THE COURSE OF FOUR DAYS!!
Me:  You want some more water?
Cat:  HERE, I'LL CHEW ON YOUR SHOELACES FOR YOU!
Me:  Can you get the hell off my shoes, please?
Cat:  I KNOCKED ALL THE THINGS OFF YOUR SHELVES!
Me:  Seriously, get off my shoes.
Cat:  HERE, I'LL KNOCK THE MAIL YOU JUST PUT ON THE COFFEE TABLE ON THE GROUND, TOO!
Me:  Hey!!
Cat:  I'M JUST GONNA YELL FOR A WHILE, OKAY?!
Me:  I'm going to get some pizza, try not to knock anything else over while I'm gone.
Cat:  DON'T LEAVE!!!
Me:  I'll be back in a couple minutes.
Cat:  IF YOU LEAVE, YOU'LL NEVER COME BACK!!  OR YOU'LL COME BACK IN 5 MINUTES, I DONT KNOW!  AGAIN, I HAVE NO PROPER CONCEPT OF TIME!
Me:  Okay, bye buddy.
Cat:  I'LL PUT SOME CAT LITTER ON YOUR SUITCASE FOR YOU WHILE YOU'RE GONE!!

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