August 9, 2011

Trivia Blog: Planet of the Apeshit

These Trivia Blog posts come from the emails I send out as Quizmaster of the Gael Pub Trivia Night every Tuesday.  But seeing as how they comprise most of the writing I seem to do these days, I thought it fitting to include them on the Pale Writer blog as well.  I won't include things like info about categories or drink specials, but will keep the bulk of the rest.  Hopefully you enjoy, so much so that you come out some Tuesday at 8:30 (3rd Ave. b/t 82nd and 83rd)...

Damn you, negligent movie fact-checkers.  Damn you all to hell.

This past weekend, Rise of the Planet of the Apes–apart from proving wrong those of us who staunchly believed that one movie title could not contain two instances of “of the”–topped the box office, using its advanced motor skills and opposable thumbs to pry apart the wallets of the theater-going masses to the tune of a $54 million opening.  Smurf on that, NPH.

The fact aside that Americans flocked to see a movie where multitasking titan James Franco seems to be out-acted by a CGI chimp, what bothers me most about this movie is the same thing that’s been bugging me since I first saw the trailer.  A few days before seeing the preview for the first time, during my quizmasterly research I discovered the fact that there are only about 400,000 great apes on the planet today.  That’s essentially the population of Cleveland. 

And while I don’t doubt the tenacity and battlefield prowess of the citizens of Lake Erie’s finest resort town (I once watched a drunken Browns fan swipe a pair of crutches from a Steelers fan with a broken leg and hurl them a good 45 yards into the stands below), I feel like if that number of apes decided to wage war on the rest of us, ehh… we could probably take ‘em.  Unless they were wearing pants or doing other hilarious monkey things.

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